way too funny

Life is full of fucked up shit, drama and well a little too much reality.  I just want to make you feel good for a while.  Escape, relax, be a man.  Fuck I don't care what we talk about.  I do, but not really.  I just want to listen, hear what you gotta say.  Make it be all about you.  For a change.  No reason to tell you about my amazing REAL 36 D tits.  Probably doesn't even matter if I mention my carpet definitely matches the drapes.  I would bet you don't even care that I have actually been a collared sub, a stripper, a fetish club worker, i've tortured cocks for fun, i have given 100's of oil rub downs to random men, i have been in many types of threesomes, sucked cocks in video arcades and dated my mom's older lesbian lover.  There ya go, now you are thinking of me in some fucked up kinky shit aren't you.  good, good, my plan is working.

But there I go again, come on Heaven - lighten up.  And anyone who has called me knows that is exactly how i approach it.  Naturally, with a big ass smile on my face.  My favorite thing is to just go with it, have fun.  I still say that laughter and orgasms are a key product to be enjoyed in life.  Should be on that fucking fda recommended dosage chart.

Call me and get a dose of something really fucking good for you, and if you don't need it, fuck me, I do....please give to a worthy cause. LOL LOL

Your quirky little fuck angel,

Heaven

Our Favorite Jokester

So early this week I was minding my own business when I got a call from one of my absolute favorite people.  I know he isn't for everyone.....but he definitely makes me LOL.  Also say ow, cry, beg, plead and the proper way to answer or NOT. LOL  No is not a part of your vocabulary, repeat after me.  giggle.

So we are chitty chatting and I set up a wickedly fun call with my hot Barbie (*ducks from the swing) Melrose.  That beautiful long blond hair, that rocking hard body.....and I get to play with her neener neener.  tongue sticking out.  We play, undress, fight, probe, humiliate, examine, enforce and eventually give in to our Master.  He is So persuasive.  When I threatened to cut off Barbies hair I was quickly put in my place.  This little deviant angel knows it is always on the floor, knees parted with no panties for pleasure.  However, I do appreciate a good lashing.  So after the deal is done Master becomes much more relaxed and his truer nature is exposed.  His love of cooking --- his loving mothers unending supply of linen tableclothes and his jokester appeal.

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, “Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.”

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, “What’s the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?”

The redhead says, “Oh sure, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don’t feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.”

Puzzled, the blonde says, “Don’t you have a vase?”

Giggles....it is still very funny and I did look at vases when I was out shopping randomly and giggle thinking of my precious Melrose supplying the "vase".

Your Loving Wicked Angel

Heaven

Did Someone Write ME a Story?

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